And …. Crash

Today was bad. As in, bad enough that I can't write about it. I guess I will suffice it to say that it could have been one of the worst days since my baby died. A day where I wish I had never gotten up. Praying it snows buckets and buckets tomorrow so I can

a new [great] day

Today has been a really great day. Which gives me much hope because of all the gray and gloomy days I've had for the last 4 weeks.We met Ryan's family for lunch at the Spaghetti Factory. Then, with Christmas cash in hand, I went on a shopping spree and got some really great pieces to

Let me count the ways . . .

Baby O,Tonight, I cry because I miss you. I know I didn't know you, but there's still this hole in my heart where you belong.I grieve because on this side of heaven . . . I will never gaze into your newborn eyes and wonder what you're thinking.I will never nurse you to sleep.I will never

Quick update

This won't be long as I promised I'd actually make an attempt to go to bed the same time as my husband tonight. Hopefully with the melatonin I just took, this will be more in the realms of possible. (Plus I have to get up super early tomorrow. Ok, super early is like 6:30. But

One step forward . . . two steps backward

Today, I took a step forward. I also took two steps backward. Or . . .  make that a dozen.I actually did an Arbonne party today. Was I ready to? No. Was I ever going to feel ready? Maybe not for a long, long time. But as my mom and my counselor both pointed out, it might