Into the fog

In December, a fog settled in. It doesn't want to leave.When I look back to last month, it feels a little surreal. Like I wasn't really present for it -- even though I know I was. And I know certain days felt hard. But certain days were good, too. Even still, depression was with me

Making peace

Pregnant with Maddy. Is it even possible to look back at a picture of yourself and be jealous?It must be. Because that's how I feel sometimes. I'd give anything to be her again.She had no idea how good she had it.I'm not sure what to make of my pregnancy history these days.Before this season in

Secondary infertility

A few nights ago, Maddy tells me she wants to get rid of our house."Why Maddy? Don't you like living here?" I ask."Mommy, I want to live in a different house. One that has kids in it -- you know -- friends? Who live there all the time? I want to get rid of this house, and