Gigantor & Jesus: Of really big spiders and extravagant love

   Today I find my thoughts scattered.   Much I've held in. Some for good reasons. Some for not so good.   But the urge to write is strong. I write while I shower. I

When the pursuit of dreams looks anything but dreamy

   Yesterday, I took Leyla to the park.  She laughed and played, and occasionally asked for my help, which I gently refused.  There were two other moms there. They were cute. They did planks and

Pregnant after loss: where hope and fear collide

   A rainbow I saw the morning of our ultrasound ... A reminder to hope.  Spoiler and trigger alert: this post is about pregnancy after loss. If you are sensitive to pregnancy, you may

How I really feel about Mother’s Day, now that it’s finally almost over

   I have been waiting for a month to feel inspired to write about Mother's Day.  It's now 10 pm tonight on Mother's Day, and honestly ... I still don't feel inspired.  I joined Sarah

The real definition of infertility

    Recently, we had National Infertility Awareness Week.  Maybe you are wondering why we need an awareness week for infertility? After all, don't most people understand that infertility exists? Yes, of course. And yet

Save Lexi

Our foster son, Z.   This post will not win me any friends.   I already know that.   But there is this burning in my gut that I just can't ignore. Maybe because

An insanely bittersweet day: How I really feel about our adoption

3 years ago today, our lives changed profoundly. Leyla moved in. Maddy gained a sister. Ryan and I gained a daughter.  And our friends Darin & Deanna, with their two girls, let go of the

The moments that pass

    Tonight, I felt completely lost.   It's not the first time. It will likely not be the last.   Z leaving has opened up so much in my life. That sounds so pretty right?

Redefining romance

For as long as I live, I will never forget my first Valentine's Day with my would-be hubby, Ryan ... And to clue you in on a little secret, it is memorable for all the

  • The truth about how I love (and don't love) my foster child's mom

The truth about how I love (and don’t love) our foster child’s mom

    I remember the first time I almost hugged *her.*   We had just ended my foster son Z's developmental playgroup and were walking out together. She and I didn't interact much during the

The art of embrace

  This post is a part of Micro Blog Monday's. See more here: Stirrup Queens       The cursor blinks at me. An aptly put writing prompt stares back. Inviting me? Or challenging me? "Share

When the art of tidying up lost its magic on the journey to becoming clutter free

This summer, a dear friend came for a visit. And over scones, coffee, and quiche at a cute little bakery -- she told me I need to get this book.   My daughter promptly

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