Why “<3" will never be enough

        Have you ever had a hurt that just hurt too much to bear on your own?   Today, that was me. I was up at 3 am, hurting, and felt alone.   I searched Facebook. Where I can post and get support without feeling shame for being so emotional? After all,

When Christmas is hard

    A thought keeps running through my mind.  "I wish holiday stress was just about getting the right gifts, hosting family, and managing a full schedule of parties and commitments. Anything but THIS." I don't know what your THIS is. In the past, our THIS has been the worry of premature birth and a traumatic

You are brave

    "You are brave," my friend said. I didn't believe her. But she told me again, "You are brave."       It's been a whole week now. And as I sit in the waiting room at my OB's office (otherwise known as the 9th circle of hell), watching swollen pregnant bellies pass in

Pregnancy 6, Loss 5, Day 4

I woke up this morning feeling a little crampy, as though I needed to use the restroom. No spotting when I wiped. Phew!! But later in the day, at play practice, my body started to feel like it would begin its period. Dull crampiness. As soon as I had a break on stage, I beelined

Pregnancy 6, Loss 5, Day 3

   I'm 4 weeks and 5 days. Which sounds so early, and yet I'm somehow feeling accomplished even making it this far. When I went in for my blood check yesterday, the receptionist asked if it was my first pregnancy. I literally laughed out loud. "Nope. My 6th."  I watched her look me up and