Pregnancy 6, Loss 5, Day 3

   I'm 4 weeks and 5 days. Which sounds so early, and yet I'm somehow feeling accomplished even making it this far. When I went in for my blood check yesterday, the receptionist asked if it was my first pregnancy. I literally laughed out loud. "Nope. My 6th."  I watched her look me up and

Pregnancy 6, Loss 5,  Day 2

Here we are ... Pregnancy 6, day 2 Well, technically week 4, day 4 ... But, day 2 of actually knowing I am pregnant. Today felt a little more peaceful than yesterday. Although I will say it's hard to ignore some flashbacks, if you will, of my other early pregnancies. Today I went to an

My Journal: Pregnancy 6, Loss 5, Day 1

The strange thing about getting a positive test after multiple losses, is that you actually don't equate it with a baby anymore. Ryan slept in late, which turned out to be a blessing. I had promised my nurse that I would take a pregnancy test this morning to rule out pregnancy as the reason for

To Sam & Nia: On miscarrying and grieving in the public eye from someone who knows

Photo Credit: Sam & Nia/YouTube Dear Nia and Sam, When your first video went viral, I couldn't watch it. I didn't want to watch it. I thought it was sweet, and maybe interesting (how did he get your pee??), but something held me back. You see, I've had 4 miscarriages. (Well, one was ectopic. But

On your should-have-been birthday

Hey there baby Olivia. You're not so baby anymore, you know that? You were due to arrive safely in my arms three years ago today. Well, at least that was the plan. You know how plans go. And you definitely know how this plan went. Looking back, I can't believe how much I've changed in