Share

It is night. I curl up beside my husband. But I am alone.

I squeeze my eyes shut. Sleep will not come.

But the dream will.

It is just a dream. It is everything but a dream.

It happens so quickly. It happens so slowly.

It is night.

Maddy and I are on a boat. For no reason, she falls.

Falls.

Falls.

The dark, hungry waters consume her.

She is gone. But I know she’s still there.

She is terrified. She is drowning. She is dying.

I cannot jump in the water. I would never find her.

I am helpless.

I am alone.

My eyes fly open. Heart pounds. Hands sweat.

It is just dream. It is everything but a dream.

 I am curled up beside my husband. But I am alone.

A child grew in me. My baby girl.

Precious baby.

She was not alone. And neither was I.

Until.

Until my body rejected her.

A flood of blood consumed her. My blood.

Precious baby.

Drowning. Dying.

Alone.

And finally. . .

Gone.

I cannot stop the flow. I cannot help her. I will never find her.

I am helpless.

It is not a dream. It is everything but a dream.
It is Life.

It is Death.

It is night. I curl up beside my husband. But I am alone.

I am alone.