Ryan and Maddy have been using Olivia’s name more recently, and that is very nice.
Some of it might be because after the fallout from my FB note, Ryan and I have been talking more candidly with each other about our loss.
Whatever the reason, her name is really nice to hear.
Today I wore the necklace my friend Emily sent me.
Madelyn plays with that necklace more than with any of my other necklaces. Today, while fingering the “O” charm, she says, “Mommy, this is ‘Livia’s necklace.” She held up the footprint charm. We compared her foot to the charm, and we both decided Maddy’s footprint would never fit on a necklace.
I asked her who Olivia was. She answered, “My best friend.” I told her Olivia was also her sister, but that we wouldn’t get to know Olivia for a very long time.
The other day she told me, “Mommy, Audrey is my favorite friend. And ‘Livia is my second favorite friend. And ‘Livia has a special tree.”
She sure does, baby.
On Sunday, Ryan, Madelyn and I planted the willow oak tree seedling my sister gave us in honor of baby Olivia.
This was taken right before she dumped the flour in and turned the mixer to 10.
You can imagine the fallout . . .
P.S. I apologize if I brought anyone pain by posting pics of my life with Maddy and Ryan. But I did want to give you a little bit of a bigger picture of who I am and why I write they way I do. I still do love those around me very much, even as I grieve the lifetime I lost with Olivia. Since I post so often about the hard times, I wanted to include a few of the good times we’ve had since our loss.