Happy Valentine’s Day to my husband after loss & infertility

That you have seen me at my absolute worst, and still loved me, still wanted me. That you proved you were in this through thick and thin, through life and through death.

  • If grief doesn't always look like grief -- what does it look like?

When grief doesn’t look like grief

Sometimes sadness looks like anger. Sometimes depression looks like numbness. Sometimes anxiety looks like underwhelm. Sometimes acceptance looks like staying put and not moving on. Sometimes loss looks like love. Sometimes self-preservation looks like fear. Sometimes joy feels like betrayal. Sometimes moving forward means taking steps back. Sometimes you feel it all.   Sometimes you

Foster care: How to say goodbye — and then say hello

I wrote the following two years ago, in the middle of Z transitioning to his bio family.  Today, two years later, I am meeting with his bio mom to drop off his photo book of his time with us, and an outfit for his Christmas gift. At the time I wrote this ... I could

There’s a trick-or-treater missing this Halloween

There's a a trick-or-treater missing from your doorstep this Halloween. Our family rings your bell, our kids in tow, all cute and adorable, and you say so. And just before you close the door, you catch a flicker of emotion on my face, but I cover with a smile, quickly ducking my head as I

 What an eclipse teaches us about death 

Today I will see a total eclipse. It is not the eclipse millions are counting down the hours to, though it is just as dramatic. It is not the eclipse that will span the heart of our country, though it will span the hearts of many. It is not the eclipse that will block out